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kd_230692Title: Let The Parody Begin
Rating: A for Annoyingly Awesome
Warning: Okies guys, this is something I wanted to try so long now. Basically it's all my characters in a parallel universe where they're not robots, vampires, werewolves, kitsune, elven rabbits etc and are just ordinary highschool kids... Their personalities and the dynamics of the relationships are similiar to what already I got going and blahblahblah, enjoy.
Disclaimers: Btw, yesh, any similarities between real life are in your head bitches.
Chapters: I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII-A, VII-B, VIII
------------
"Hey guys, what are you talking about?" Freya set her bag down on the ground as she removed her vintage earphones blaring music into her ears. Evan was twirling around his school tie as he airily said, "Oh, me and Kit were talking about what happened yesterday with Garou..."
"Correction, you were giggling and squeeling about what happened whilst I innocently endured it all until Freya decided to grace us with her schoolbag." Kit sniped, flipping his hair out of his blue eyes.
"Oh, you're just jealous you lumberjack." Evan grinned smiling one of those secret smiles.
"So what did happen between you and my step bro? He was a little agro when he came home and stuff." Freya asked, sitting down on the grass with her two friends. Evan sighed dramatically and said, "Well, I had English literature units 3 and 4 last period and well... Me and Garou were the last ones in the classroom, putting up chairs and stuff, when we were like THIS close." Evan emphatised it with holding up two of his fingers crossed together.
"How the hell did you and Garou put up chairs if you two were practically dry humping each other?" Kit asked with a raised eyebrow. Evan smiled and said, "Well, I haven't gotten to that part yet..."
Freya facepalmed and said, "Just go on."
"So we were next to each other and his face was so close to mine... So I kissed him... on the cheek." Evan began giggling madly and smiled the biggest shit eating grin ever. Freya was shocked. "You kissed him?!"
"Yeah. He then kinda blushed and asked if that was an accident. So I kinda said no and we moved closer and I dunno. We kissed. On the lips."
"How was it?"
"I bet he was a sloppy kisser."
"Oh Kit, it wasn't really. I mean, it was kinda awkward since Garou's really tall and we were inbetween chairs and it was saliva filled and odd feeling, but it was amazing how he held me and..." Evan trailed off sighing happily.
Kit raised his eyebrow as he looked at Evan, "So, why did Garou pitch a PMS fit and you guys aren't already having buttsecks?" Evan sighed sadly and murmured, "Garou kinda ran away."
"What?" Freya asked, connecting the events of what Evan was saying and what she remembered. "So that's why Garou left home so early. I was wondering since I usually have to yell at him to get up."
"Why the fuck did he run off?"
"Freya's BOYFRIEND walked in on us."
"Lucas is NOT my boyfriend! He doesn't even notice I'm alive. I just think he looks nice."
"Frankly I think Lucas' neck looks too short for his body." Kit scoffed.
"Hello? This is my story bitches." Evan pouted and went on, "Anyways, Freya's mancandy came knocking and Garou practically shitted his pants. He ran out so quickly and me and Lucas just kinda stared at each other and it was..."
"Awkwaaaaaaaaaaaard." Kit said in a sing song voice.
"Exactly!"
"No, cuz there's the two year 12 loves of your lives."
"WHERE?!" Freya screamed, twisting around and smacking her face into Evan's bag. Evan gasped and made sure to see how she was as Kit laughed his ass off.
"Maaaaaaaaan, I'm so glad I don't have anyone to act goofy over like you two."
"Shut it you bisexual slut." Freya said bitterly, rubbing her face.
"Don't worry, Garou and Lucas are being assimilated into the popular group. They didn't have time for your graceful moves." Kit motioned to them.
"Oh! I heard it's the new exchange student from Japan or Korea or whatever." Evan said looking in the semi large group forming. "So that's why that stupid Macey is clinging onto Lucas like a bad smell."
"You racist asshat. Japan and Korea are the same as Germany and Jews. Anyways, I don't see any asians there." Kit peered.
"I think he bleached his hair or something. Oh look, we better get going. My homeroom teacher is a Nazi on late stuff. Let's go."
Freya barely heard it as she felt a cold stab of jealousy as the skanky, underfed, large nosed Macey wrapped her poorly painted talons around a nervous Lucas.
Freya replaced her headphones on and set off for another day in highschool.
-----
"You know Freya, you're going to get back damage from carrying a heavy bag." Kit mused, carrying his own light bag.
"Why don't you help then?" Freya snarked, looking for Evan.
"Sorry, I only carry bags for girls I like, and you're pretty irritating, Ms Science nerd."
"CHUT UP. It's ONE subject." Freya's bag slipped off her shoulder and she tried to pull it back onto her shoulder, only for it to hit another human.
"Oh, I'm so sorry!" Freya said, as Kit rolled his eyes. The injured person turned around and Freya felt her tongue fall out of her butt.
"It's okay. Have you seen your brother anywhere?" Lucas asked, with that soft deep voice of his. Freya tried speaking and Kit whispered, "Stop drooling." She smacked Kit in the stomach and was about to say something to the handsome sweet guy before them when they were rudely interupted.
"Heyhey! Me and Garou are walking home together so you guys can scatter." Evan smiled and skipped off, with a very irritated dark haired Garou following him.
"Wow, we're like potatoes to him." Kit said. "C'mon, I'll be late for my bus. Let's go Freya. You, man object can come along too."
------
"So you're switching out of history into another english class? What the fark is wrong with you?" Kit asked as Freya facepalmed. "It's English units three and four. It's year 12 stuff."
"You might be in my class then." Lucas said quietly. Freya stopped in her tracks as Kit snorted derisively. Lucas looked at them both puzzledly and asked, "Is something wrong?"
"Oh no Mr Lucas, definitely not! Freya may just need some tutoring to catch up in that class. Do you think you can help?" Kit said, trying hard not to smile. Freya kneecapped Kit and said, "Um, my friend has this thing where he's, you know? A DUMBASS!"
"But do you need my help? Cuz I have my stuff with me and I could go over some basic stuff you need for next semester." Lucas asked quietly.
Freya was speechless and felt tongue tied. She was about to say something along the lines of OH MY GOD YES, TUTOR ME when another voice cried out.
"Senpai! I am needing of some help please!" A smaller boy running after them. Freya realised it was the Japanese exchange student. His hair was bleached a white colour and he looked somehow serene. Though right now he looked really worried.
"Hey Nobu. What do you need help with?" Lucas asked kindly.
"I has to be using a bus, but feel confused." Nobu struggled, his Japanese accent heavy.
"Hey, Kit here is also catching a bus. Maybe he can help. Kit?" Freya asked, but Kit seemed out of it. Freya groaned and slapped Kit.
"Huh, wuh, guh?" Kit asked.
"Exchange student? Needing bus help? Did your brain fall out?" Freya asked.
"Oh... What's your bus number? ...Nobu." Kit asked, shifting slightly.
"This one." Nobu said, holding out a piece of paper and bowing slightly. Kit lifted his hand to take but opted to just look at his.
"You have nice hands Nobu." Kit blushed.
"THE FREAKING NUMBER KIT. LOOK AT THE PAPER." Freya shouted. Kit shot Freya a greasy and gasped.
"T-this is my bus too!" Kit said. Nobu smiled and said, "You can lead me there, yes?" Kit nodded and Nobu said, "Arigato Kit kun."
So the mutantly tall freak and adorable short asian walked off, disregarding Freya and Lucas nothing more than peanuts.
"Seems we get ditched a lot." Freya murmured.
"Can I walk you home?" Lucas asked.
"Okay." Freya avoided looking into his soft hazel eyes, afraid the urge to ravish him there would overtake her.
So she just settled for holding her arms close and being next to him.
"By the way, need help carrying your bag?"
------
Meanwhile Garou was quietly brooding as Evan tried to make light conversation. Eventually Evan just gave up and they walked quietly to their houses.
"Well, it was very... awkward walking with you Garou. I guess I'll see you tomorrow. I guess." Evan tried swallowing his sadness and opened his gates.
"Wait! I mean, wanna come inside for a drink or something?" Garou nervously asked. Evan smiled and said, "Sure," and walked with Garou to the house next door.
Inside Evan basically leapt on the couch and waited for Garou to throw him a can of Hapsi. But instead Garou carefully brought out two glasses of Hapsi with ice in them.
"My my Garou, is it a special occasion?" Evan grinned but Garou didn't look at Evan, instead seting both glasses on the coffee table.
"Evan, about... about what happened yesterday..." Garou murmured.
"Can we be boyfriends now?" Evan asked. Garou stared at Evan and said, "But-- but---!"
"We were friends since we were crotch height. And I like... I would like to take it to the next level..." Evan said, shifting closer to Garou.
"But... Evan... I'm... I'm so screwed up! I got a shrink and stuff already! Why do you want someone like me?"
"Because I want noone else." Evan wrapped his arm around Garou's waist and shifted on top of him. Garou shivered as Evan slowly grinded on their bodies together. Garou felt his head growing light as Evan began to kiss him softly. Garou slowlylifted his hand to touch Evan's soft, smooth skin...
-----
"So you think the Limtards are a bit unrealistic?" Lucas asked as Freya laughed.
" 'Limbo' is the most pathetically acclaimed piece of fiction involving vampires and werewolves." Freya said, opening her gate.
Lucas followed, musing, "I can never understand the fascination with Vampires. They originated in folklore as a means to explain serial murderers. Nothing fancy about that."
Freya unlocked the door and said, "Well try explaining that to the Limtards. Cuz their vampires glimmer with sparkly elegance."
Lucas looked nervous and said, "Um... Freya. Do you want me to go over the notes now? We only got a week left til semester ends and you know, we could... like... ummmmm...."
"Study? Sure, I'm sure my brother wouldn't mind."
Freya opened the door and they both stood in shock.
On the couch there was clothing strewn everywhere and in the epicentre of the chaos was a shirtless Garou and half naked Evan.
"Fuck the wha--?" Freya said as Evan responded with a cheery hello. Lucas just stood there speechless as Freya began walking.
"You guys are cleaning up this mess. Me and Lucas are going to go over some notes."
"Okie dokie. Bye Garou's friend." Evan waved as his hands began wandering again. Garou just looked insanely embarassed.
Freya practically slammed her door shut and sighed. Lucas coughed and said, "So... we're studying?"
Freya stared at Lucas and realised how handsome he looked, standing in her room, nervous and freaked out.
Lucas peered on her desk and picked up a dark coloured book with a blue pear on the cover.
" 'Limbo' by Melanie Stryder." He turned it over and began reading the blurb.
"Swana Bello is a 16 year old girl moving to the hick town Spoons where she is instantly accepted due to be a unique flake of snow and suffers bad character development. Here she comes across the mysterious Stefan Killen, a ridiculously clique hot guy with a dark vampire secret.... Damn, the blurb is very... descriptive..." Lucas said.
"Yeah, a hit motion movie... amoungst female fail..." Freya said. She kicked off her shoes and said, "Gawd, I hate wearing kilts so much. I wonder how those lolita girls can stand them frilly dresses."
Lucas sat on her computer chair and said, "Let's study then."
Freya felt her heart shiver as Lucas smiled at her.
Rating: A for Annoyingly Awesome
Warning: Okies guys, this is something I wanted to try so long now. Basically it's all my characters in a parallel universe where they're not robots, vampires, werewolves, kitsune, elven rabbits etc and are just ordinary highschool kids... Their personalities and the dynamics of the relationships are similiar to what already I got going and blahblahblah, enjoy.
Disclaimers: Btw, yesh, any similarities between real life are in your head bitches.
Chapters: I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII-A, VII-B, VIII
------------
"Hey guys, what are you talking about?" Freya set her bag down on the ground as she removed her vintage earphones blaring music into her ears. Evan was twirling around his school tie as he airily said, "Oh, me and Kit were talking about what happened yesterday with Garou..."
"Correction, you were giggling and squeeling about what happened whilst I innocently endured it all until Freya decided to grace us with her schoolbag." Kit sniped, flipping his hair out of his blue eyes.
"Oh, you're just jealous you lumberjack." Evan grinned smiling one of those secret smiles.
"So what did happen between you and my step bro? He was a little agro when he came home and stuff." Freya asked, sitting down on the grass with her two friends. Evan sighed dramatically and said, "Well, I had English literature units 3 and 4 last period and well... Me and Garou were the last ones in the classroom, putting up chairs and stuff, when we were like THIS close." Evan emphatised it with holding up two of his fingers crossed together.
"How the hell did you and Garou put up chairs if you two were practically dry humping each other?" Kit asked with a raised eyebrow. Evan smiled and said, "Well, I haven't gotten to that part yet..."
Freya facepalmed and said, "Just go on."
"So we were next to each other and his face was so close to mine... So I kissed him... on the cheek." Evan began giggling madly and smiled the biggest shit eating grin ever. Freya was shocked. "You kissed him?!"
"Yeah. He then kinda blushed and asked if that was an accident. So I kinda said no and we moved closer and I dunno. We kissed. On the lips."
"How was it?"
"I bet he was a sloppy kisser."
"Oh Kit, it wasn't really. I mean, it was kinda awkward since Garou's really tall and we were inbetween chairs and it was saliva filled and odd feeling, but it was amazing how he held me and..." Evan trailed off sighing happily.
Kit raised his eyebrow as he looked at Evan, "So, why did Garou pitch a PMS fit and you guys aren't already having buttsecks?" Evan sighed sadly and murmured, "Garou kinda ran away."
"What?" Freya asked, connecting the events of what Evan was saying and what she remembered. "So that's why Garou left home so early. I was wondering since I usually have to yell at him to get up."
"Why the fuck did he run off?"
"Freya's BOYFRIEND walked in on us."
"Lucas is NOT my boyfriend! He doesn't even notice I'm alive. I just think he looks nice."
"Frankly I think Lucas' neck looks too short for his body." Kit scoffed.
"Hello? This is my story bitches." Evan pouted and went on, "Anyways, Freya's mancandy came knocking and Garou practically shitted his pants. He ran out so quickly and me and Lucas just kinda stared at each other and it was..."
"Awkwaaaaaaaaaaaard." Kit said in a sing song voice.
"Exactly!"
"No, cuz there's the two year 12 loves of your lives."
"WHERE?!" Freya screamed, twisting around and smacking her face into Evan's bag. Evan gasped and made sure to see how she was as Kit laughed his ass off.
"Maaaaaaaaan, I'm so glad I don't have anyone to act goofy over like you two."
"Shut it you bisexual slut." Freya said bitterly, rubbing her face.
"Don't worry, Garou and Lucas are being assimilated into the popular group. They didn't have time for your graceful moves." Kit motioned to them.
"Oh! I heard it's the new exchange student from Japan or Korea or whatever." Evan said looking in the semi large group forming. "So that's why that stupid Macey is clinging onto Lucas like a bad smell."
"You racist asshat. Japan and Korea are the same as Germany and Jews. Anyways, I don't see any asians there." Kit peered.
"I think he bleached his hair or something. Oh look, we better get going. My homeroom teacher is a Nazi on late stuff. Let's go."
Freya barely heard it as she felt a cold stab of jealousy as the skanky, underfed, large nosed Macey wrapped her poorly painted talons around a nervous Lucas.
Freya replaced her headphones on and set off for another day in highschool.
-----
"You know Freya, you're going to get back damage from carrying a heavy bag." Kit mused, carrying his own light bag.
"Why don't you help then?" Freya snarked, looking for Evan.
"Sorry, I only carry bags for girls I like, and you're pretty irritating, Ms Science nerd."
"CHUT UP. It's ONE subject." Freya's bag slipped off her shoulder and she tried to pull it back onto her shoulder, only for it to hit another human.
"Oh, I'm so sorry!" Freya said, as Kit rolled his eyes. The injured person turned around and Freya felt her tongue fall out of her butt.
"It's okay. Have you seen your brother anywhere?" Lucas asked, with that soft deep voice of his. Freya tried speaking and Kit whispered, "Stop drooling." She smacked Kit in the stomach and was about to say something to the handsome sweet guy before them when they were rudely interupted.
"Heyhey! Me and Garou are walking home together so you guys can scatter." Evan smiled and skipped off, with a very irritated dark haired Garou following him.
"Wow, we're like potatoes to him." Kit said. "C'mon, I'll be late for my bus. Let's go Freya. You, man object can come along too."
------
"So you're switching out of history into another english class? What the fark is wrong with you?" Kit asked as Freya facepalmed. "It's English units three and four. It's year 12 stuff."
"You might be in my class then." Lucas said quietly. Freya stopped in her tracks as Kit snorted derisively. Lucas looked at them both puzzledly and asked, "Is something wrong?"
"Oh no Mr Lucas, definitely not! Freya may just need some tutoring to catch up in that class. Do you think you can help?" Kit said, trying hard not to smile. Freya kneecapped Kit and said, "Um, my friend has this thing where he's, you know? A DUMBASS!"
"But do you need my help? Cuz I have my stuff with me and I could go over some basic stuff you need for next semester." Lucas asked quietly.
Freya was speechless and felt tongue tied. She was about to say something along the lines of OH MY GOD YES, TUTOR ME when another voice cried out.
"Senpai! I am needing of some help please!" A smaller boy running after them. Freya realised it was the Japanese exchange student. His hair was bleached a white colour and he looked somehow serene. Though right now he looked really worried.
"Hey Nobu. What do you need help with?" Lucas asked kindly.
"I has to be using a bus, but feel confused." Nobu struggled, his Japanese accent heavy.
"Hey, Kit here is also catching a bus. Maybe he can help. Kit?" Freya asked, but Kit seemed out of it. Freya groaned and slapped Kit.
"Huh, wuh, guh?" Kit asked.
"Exchange student? Needing bus help? Did your brain fall out?" Freya asked.
"Oh... What's your bus number? ...Nobu." Kit asked, shifting slightly.
"This one." Nobu said, holding out a piece of paper and bowing slightly. Kit lifted his hand to take but opted to just look at his.
"You have nice hands Nobu." Kit blushed.
"THE FREAKING NUMBER KIT. LOOK AT THE PAPER." Freya shouted. Kit shot Freya a greasy and gasped.
"T-this is my bus too!" Kit said. Nobu smiled and said, "You can lead me there, yes?" Kit nodded and Nobu said, "Arigato Kit kun."
So the mutantly tall freak and adorable short asian walked off, disregarding Freya and Lucas nothing more than peanuts.
"Seems we get ditched a lot." Freya murmured.
"Can I walk you home?" Lucas asked.
"Okay." Freya avoided looking into his soft hazel eyes, afraid the urge to ravish him there would overtake her.
So she just settled for holding her arms close and being next to him.
"By the way, need help carrying your bag?"
------
Meanwhile Garou was quietly brooding as Evan tried to make light conversation. Eventually Evan just gave up and they walked quietly to their houses.
"Well, it was very... awkward walking with you Garou. I guess I'll see you tomorrow. I guess." Evan tried swallowing his sadness and opened his gates.
"Wait! I mean, wanna come inside for a drink or something?" Garou nervously asked. Evan smiled and said, "Sure," and walked with Garou to the house next door.
Inside Evan basically leapt on the couch and waited for Garou to throw him a can of Hapsi. But instead Garou carefully brought out two glasses of Hapsi with ice in them.
"My my Garou, is it a special occasion?" Evan grinned but Garou didn't look at Evan, instead seting both glasses on the coffee table.
"Evan, about... about what happened yesterday..." Garou murmured.
"Can we be boyfriends now?" Evan asked. Garou stared at Evan and said, "But-- but---!"
"We were friends since we were crotch height. And I like... I would like to take it to the next level..." Evan said, shifting closer to Garou.
"But... Evan... I'm... I'm so screwed up! I got a shrink and stuff already! Why do you want someone like me?"
"Because I want noone else." Evan wrapped his arm around Garou's waist and shifted on top of him. Garou shivered as Evan slowly grinded on their bodies together. Garou felt his head growing light as Evan began to kiss him softly. Garou slowlylifted his hand to touch Evan's soft, smooth skin...
-----
"So you think the Limtards are a bit unrealistic?" Lucas asked as Freya laughed.
" 'Limbo' is the most pathetically acclaimed piece of fiction involving vampires and werewolves." Freya said, opening her gate.
Lucas followed, musing, "I can never understand the fascination with Vampires. They originated in folklore as a means to explain serial murderers. Nothing fancy about that."
Freya unlocked the door and said, "Well try explaining that to the Limtards. Cuz their vampires glimmer with sparkly elegance."
Lucas looked nervous and said, "Um... Freya. Do you want me to go over the notes now? We only got a week left til semester ends and you know, we could... like... ummmmm...."
"Study? Sure, I'm sure my brother wouldn't mind."
Freya opened the door and they both stood in shock.
On the couch there was clothing strewn everywhere and in the epicentre of the chaos was a shirtless Garou and half naked Evan.
"Fuck the wha--?" Freya said as Evan responded with a cheery hello. Lucas just stood there speechless as Freya began walking.
"You guys are cleaning up this mess. Me and Lucas are going to go over some notes."
"Okie dokie. Bye Garou's friend." Evan waved as his hands began wandering again. Garou just looked insanely embarassed.
Freya practically slammed her door shut and sighed. Lucas coughed and said, "So... we're studying?"
Freya stared at Lucas and realised how handsome he looked, standing in her room, nervous and freaked out.
Lucas peered on her desk and picked up a dark coloured book with a blue pear on the cover.
" 'Limbo' by Melanie Stryder." He turned it over and began reading the blurb.
"Swana Bello is a 16 year old girl moving to the hick town Spoons where she is instantly accepted due to be a unique flake of snow and suffers bad character development. Here she comes across the mysterious Stefan Killen, a ridiculously clique hot guy with a dark vampire secret.... Damn, the blurb is very... descriptive..." Lucas said.
"Yeah, a hit motion movie... amoungst female fail..." Freya said. She kicked off her shoes and said, "Gawd, I hate wearing kilts so much. I wonder how those lolita girls can stand them frilly dresses."
Lucas sat on her computer chair and said, "Let's study then."
Freya felt her heart shiver as Lucas smiled at her.
